Am I being a good friend? Am I now? How ’bout now?

Reposted from my #mudsliderstory on the Single Dad Laughing Health Club Facebook page.

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If you’ve known me for ten minutes, you know my story – the one about how I went to 11 different elementary schools thanks to perpetually nomadic young parents. It was a long time ago (I’m, unbelievably to me, 46 now), but when it comes to new situations with lots of people and challenges, it’s still relevant.

I signed up for the Mudder in a fit of impulsiveness that led to half an hour of physical shaking and “what have I done,” and knew it was going to be a Very Big Deal. It was, in more ways than I would ever have anticipated. Training for it kind of took over my life. I was so glad that the week or so before, I found myself feeling nearly totally zen about it. The trick was to train to the point that I felt truly prepared, and then remember that all that was required is that I do my best.

What I was most worried about, and many people felt the same, was meeting my teammates. I declined to attend the pre-pre-get togethers, preferring to spend one-on-one time with my boyfriend instead (who gets a huge shout out here for being the most supportive guy ever – thank you, Brian​!!). Walking into the restaurant Friday night was really scary – and then to be greeted by 40 people cheering and calling my name and getting up to give me hugs? It definitely helped settle me down.

On the course, I sometimes felt like I was “acting.” I wanted to be a good friend to everyone, a helper, and a confidante, and sometimes (as in “real life”) I felt disconnected through my clumsy attempts to connect. I wondered if I was saying the right thing, not being helpful enough, or being “too” helpful, like when I was trying to support Shannon in helping others out of the mud, and ended up pulling her over. Now that the Mudder is done, I find myself wondering how I came across out there, and whether people like me, and finding myself in danger of focusing on that more than the accomplishments. The struggle continues.

But what I want to focus on is this…It all came together in ways that mostly worked. Every tricep dip I did, every trail run, every “like” or comment on a teammate’s post, every time I made the right food choices, it all came together out there. Every choice I made made a difference in helping me be stronger, lighter, more confident, and more connected, even if the end result was imperfect. I’m 46 and never been an athlete, and I completed a Tough Mudder! That’s pretty amazing!

Every little choice you make is leading you somewhere. Are you going in the right direction?

All the love, my friends!

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This entry was posted in Childhood, Fitness, Friendship, Tough Mudder and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Am I being a good friend? Am I now? How ’bout now?

  1. ladyquirky says:

    Of course you are a good friend. You did what worked for you. That is all a friend has to do in this situation.

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