Am I being a good friend? Am I now? How ’bout now?

Reposted from my #mudsliderstory on the Single Dad Laughing Health Club Facebook page.


If you’ve known me for ten minutes, you know my story – the one about how I went to 11 different elementary schools thanks to perpetually nomadic young parents. It was a long time ago (I’m, unbelievably to me, 46 now), but when it comes to new situations with lots of people and challenges, it’s still relevant.

I signed up for the Mudder in a fit of impulsiveness that led to half an hour of physical shaking and “what have I done,” and knew it was going to be a Very Big Deal. It was, in more ways than I would ever have anticipated. Training for it kind of took over my life. I was so glad that the week or so before, I found myself feeling nearly totally zen about it. The trick was to train to the point that I felt truly prepared, and then remember that all that was required is that I do my best.

What I was most worried about, and many people felt the same, was meeting my teammates. I declined to attend the pre-pre-get togethers, preferring to spend one-on-one time with my boyfriend instead (who gets a huge shout out here for being the most supportive guy ever – thank you, Brian​!!). Walking into the restaurant Friday night was really scary – and then to be greeted by 40 people cheering and calling my name and getting up to give me hugs? It definitely helped settle me down.

On the course, I sometimes felt like I was “acting.” I wanted to be a good friend to everyone, a helper, and a confidante, and sometimes (as in “real life”) I felt disconnected through my clumsy attempts to connect. I wondered if I was saying the right thing, not being helpful enough, or being “too” helpful, like when I was trying to support Shannon in helping others out of the mud, and ended up pulling her over. Now that the Mudder is done, I find myself wondering how I came across out there, and whether people like me, and finding myself in danger of focusing on that more than the accomplishments. The struggle continues.

But what I want to focus on is this…It all came together in ways that mostly worked. Every tricep dip I did, every trail run, every “like” or comment on a teammate’s post, every time I made the right food choices, it all came together out there. Every choice I made made a difference in helping me be stronger, lighter, more confident, and more connected, even if the end result was imperfect. I’m 46 and never been an athlete, and I completed a Tough Mudder! That’s pretty amazing!

Every little choice you make is leading you somewhere. Are you going in the right direction?

All the love, my friends!


This entry was posted in Childhood, Fitness, Friendship, Tough Mudder and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Am I being a good friend? Am I now? How ’bout now?

  1. ladyquirky says:

    Of course you are a good friend. You did what worked for you. That is all a friend has to do in this situation.

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