I wanted to document my Mudder journey, and am feeling disappointed in myself for my lack of discipline in updating my blog. But I think by not doing that, I’ve accidentally spared myself a ton of anxiety…until this morning. Since I’m feeling the anxiety anyway, as I lie here in my comfy, safe, clean, Air BnB room on the eve of the big event, it’s time to update my blog to let you know five things.
1. I’m still doing this thing.
2. I’m almost exactly as nervous about meeting my 40+ teammates as I am doing the course.
3. The desert smells *really good.* Did it always smell like orange blossoms and jasmine? And the smell of creosote takes me right back to my 8th grade science project, when I thought I might discover the heretofore unknown curative properties that creosote holds for cancer.
4. I have an absurdly supportive boyfriend. Anxiety is a funny thing, especially when it’s intense. When it’s underground, it manifests as a seething annoyance with the fact that he breathes. When it’s overt, it’s, well, the same. Thank you for being such a patient cheerleader and companion, honey. I hope somehow all this is worth it to you!
5. I’m still doing this thing.